Curiosity
by MissNinja13
Summary: The words fell out of her mouth before she could stop them. And even when she had a chance to take them back, to pretend she'd been talking about something else, she didn't. Now Garrus Vakarian was standing in front of her, stammering something about how he'd be willing to try. What the hell had she done? Renegade Shakarian, ME2 and probably into ME3 later.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: It's been a really, really long time since I've written anything at all, and it's been even longer since I had the desire to write any sort of fanfiction. I've been reading a lot of Shakarian lately, and one thing I don't see much are non-smut fics with renegade Shepard and Garrus (not that I have a problem with smut). Even though I personally prefer more of a paragon Shepard, I had some thoughts floating around that I decided to get out, and this happened. I'm sure there will be more after this chapter. This is basically Shepard's POV, very little dialogue. I'm sure later entries will have more dialogue, but for now this is how I wanted to start. There's nothing explicit or descriptive, but rated M because there are/will be in the future adult themes.**

The words fell out of her mouth before she could stop them. And even when she had a chance to take them back, to pretend she'd been talking about something else, she didn't.

Now Garrus Vakarian was standing in front of her, stammering something about how he'd be willing to try. What the hell had she done? Sure, Garrus was easy to talk to. Or, more accurately, she supposed, he was one of the very few on the ship who she could tolerate. Maybe it was because he didn't bore her with stories and problems like the rest of the crew. Instead, he chose to focus on his work- his endless calibrations- consistently blowing her off when she did her rounds each evening cycle.

The commander had to pretend to give a damn about her crew, after all. She'd even went as far as granting them each one personal mission to square away whatever crap was bothering them in their personal lives. She wanted them focused, and with all of the insignificant nonsense that had their attention, they weren't. So she played the part, taking time away from shit that actually mattered to babysit while they took care of their problems. She was just glad to put all of that behind her so they could finally focus on the real mission.

She hadn't really minded helping Garrus out, though. His personal mission was short and to the point. Revenge. She could respect that. And she could definitely appreciate the way he'd handled it: cold, ruthless, methodical. That no-nonsense attitude was exactly how she would have approached it herself, and she'd respected the hell out of it. Though if she'd been running the show, Harkin wouldn't have walked (or rather, limped) away from the encounter.

After the mission, she'd headed down to the main battery for a debrief, and that's what had gotten her into this mess. Garrus had seemed to be in a better mood than she'd seen since he had joined the crew of the new Normandy, and for once he'd left the gun alone long enough for a chat. That was how the current discussion about "reach" and "flexibility" had come about.

Commander Shepard didn't really have any interest in being with him. Or any other alien, for that matter. The thought of it was, to be honest, rather repulsive, and she tried not to focus on it too much as she left the main battery and a confused Garrus behind her. She could always turn him down later, explain that it had just been a joke. Hell, with how awkward he'd been about it, he would probably be relieved.

She felt flustered, an unfamiliar feeling for the woman who was always in control. Rather than finishing her daily trip around the Normandy, Shepard skipped Miranda's office and the floor below entirely. She boarded the elevator and selected the option that would take her up to her quarters. Realizing she was more tired than she'd originally thought, she passed the shower and went straight to her bed, the only light in the room coming from the soft glow of her orange cybernetics against the pillow.

Just as she was settling in and dozing off, an unwelcome voice chimed in over her speakers. "Commander," it demanded.

That damn AI. She hated it, hated that Cerberus had integrated it so thoroughly into her ship. It was nosy and intrusive, unlike the VI from the previous Normandy. Shepard had to admit it was useful on occasion, but that didn't stop her from being furious that it was interrupting the sleep she desperately needed.

"What is it, EDI?" Shepard asked sharply.

"The crew has expressed some concern that you did not complete your walk through the ship. Dr. Chakwas requested that I remind you that if you have any health concerns, the med bay is only two floors down." EDI paused for a moment before continuing, "though I am not sure what led her to believe that you have forgotten its location. I informed her that all health factors my system can detect are functioning normally."

"Then why the _hell_ are you bothering me? Can't your system detect that I'm trying to fall asleep?" she snapped.

"My system indicated that that may be the case," EDI admitted. "However, I located information you may find useful. I have forwarded it to your personal terminal. Logging you out, Shepard."

She groaned and paused a moment before rolling out of bed, rubbing her eyes as she stood up. "This better be good," she mumbled to herself.

The terminal came to life instantly under her fingertips, illuminating the room. Shepard blinked rapidly as her eyes adjusted to the sudden change in brightness. For everything Cerberus had done right when bringing her back, she couldn't stand her eyes. They'd only gotten worse as the mission pressed on, her glowing pupils sensitive in too much light, almost to the point of becoming a liability. Maybe she'd have to invest in that med bay upgrade after all. What a waste of resources.

When she was finally able to focus on the screen, she found that it was full of vid thumbnails depicting nothing but turian/human pornography, presumably something that EDI had "located" in Joker's files. Shepard scowled and turned the thing off, returning to her bed. Yeah, it was time to figure out how to get the ship's AI out of her personal business.

After EDI's interruption, Shepard found herself restless and unable to fall back asleep. She told herself that it wasn't curiosity about the vids the AI sent, that she wasn't dying to know how the turian-human mechanics actually worked. And if she did want to know, it wasn't genuine interest, and it was certainly not genuine interest in attempting it herself. It was just... curiosity.

Okay, so maybe that _was_ why she couldn't sleep.

Shepard rolled out of bed, tying her hair up in a lazy ponytail. She was sure she wasn't going to be awake too much longer. She wasn't often one for pornography- not even the human-on-human kind. She much preferred engaging in the real act, and her thoughts were usually enough to help her get by when that wasn't an option. Still, she turned on the first vid, her curiosity getting the best of her.

The vids were interesting, to say the least. Though the content varied greatly, the one thing Shepard was able to determine for certain was that sex with a turian seemed extremely painful. It was hard to tell what was exaggerated simply through the nature of pornography; she assumed that anyone who would actively desire watching something like this would really be looking for something painful and degrading. There had to be something really fucking wrong with someone to want something like this, she figured. But the way the turians in the vids moved was almost frightening, so fast and violent, and she was ashamed to admit that it thrilled her.

She found her mind wandering to thoughts of Garrus and whether he could move like that, and soon found that her hand was wandering as well.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Thanks for all of the encouragement on the first chapter! Looking forward to continuing with this. :)**

For several minutes after she'd left, Garrus stared blankly at the space Shepard had just occupied, still processing what had just occurred. Had she really just suggested that the two of them attempt to... blow off steam together? Of all the things he'd expected out of that debriefing- if it could even be called that, considering how casual the conversation had been- that was certainly not one of them.

Garrus' mandibles flicked thoughtfully as he considered the offer. Even including the encounter he'd described to Shepard, he could count on one three-fingered hand how many females he'd been with. It wasn't that the opportunities weren't there; he'd had plenty of options. Garrus just never really saw the point. After leaving the turian military to work with C-Sec, he'd focused solely on his career, leaving little time for a personal life. Cleaning up the Citadel was draining, physically and emotionally, especially when his hands were tied with red tape so often. Garrus took each failure very personally, and his frustration with the system interfered with his ability to enjoy other aspects of his life.

So no, there wasn't some long list of turian females who'd had their hearts shattered by Garrus Vakarian's dashing good looks and prowess in the bedroom. He was, for the most part, a loner.

At least until Shepard had come along. She'd really altered his perception of how important it was to have a team, to have someone beside you who you could trust with your life. And considering how often Shepard included Garrus in her squad, he could only assume that's what he was to her, even if she'd never admit it. Too much of a hard ass to say out loud that she needed anyone other than herself. Still, she had his unwavering trust and loyalty, and he would (and had) put his life in her hands without a second thought. He was proud to be there for her.

And if she wanted him to be there for her in... other ways? Well, sure. He could do that. Even if he was nervous about what that might entail.

He smiled to himself as he returned to his calculations, noting that the firing algorithms seemed much more complex than usual.

* * *

The next day, the crew was called up for a briefing on the next mission, some routine errand for the Illusive Man. Some of the missions they were assigned were so basic that Garrus suspected the leader of Cerberus would have Shepard do his grocery shopping for him if he was willing to give up his location. Surely there had to be some other team in Cerberus who could accomplish some of the simple crap. Perhaps a team that wasn't busy trying to save the entire galaxy from certain destruction?

As always, Garrus arrived fully armed and dressed to head out, his weapons carefully cleaned (and calibrated, of course, always calibrated) that morning. No one knew for sure heading into the pre-mission briefings whether they'd be part of the shore party, but it was usually safe to assume that Garrus would be included. He was Shepard's go-to team member for, well, pretty much everything.

So when the commander announced that Thane and Grunt would be the ones accompanying her, everyone looked curiously from Garrus to Shepard, wondering if something was wrong but not daring to say a word. The turian leaned against the wall, mandibles tight against his face as he got lost in his own thoughts, ignoring the rest of what the commander had to say about the mission's details.

Had he done something wrong? See, this was why he usually tried to avoid getting involved in this sort of thing. Just got in the way, especially when it was with your commanding officer. As the shore party got suited up to depart and the rest of the team dispersed, Garrus stayed against the wall, staring at Shepard, wordlessly challenging her. The commander caught his gaze and held it intently, daring him to say something to her, but he knew better. Soft and small as humans were, he knew what the one in front of him was capable of, and he sure as hell didn't want to be on her bad side.

As the stare held, her expression changed, somehow. The anger in her features softened and was replaced by... What _was_ that look? Garrus had been spending a lot of time around humans and learning how to read them. His time aboard the _Normandy_ combined with his work at C-Sec had made him particularly good at it, for a turian. But the look Shepard wore wasn't one he could place. As his defiance turned to confusion, he was grateful that his species was difficult for humans to read.

To his surprise, Shepard broke the contact first, her orange eyes drifting down to her datapad, and damned if her cheeks weren't turning a little red. Wasn't that supposed to indicate embarrassment in humans? Regardless of what was going on with the commander, Garrus still knew better than to question her orders. Her word was law aboard the _Normandy_, so instead of challenging her decision he walked toward the door, passing her without meeting her gaze.

"Vakarian," she said simply as he reached the door. He turned back to face her, noting that whatever he had caught on her features earlier had disappeared, replaced by her normal rough demeanor. "Was there something you had to say?" she challenged, her chest against his, her eyes resolutely focused as she glared up at him. Hard to believe, but she was menacing despite the height difference. Before joining with her to fight Saren, he'd had no idea a human could be so terrifying.

His mandibles twitched as a response he would regret died on his tongue. Instead, he stood a little taller; she may have been able to appear threatening regardless, but he damn sure wasn't going to make it easy on her. "No, ma'am." he answered.

"That's what I thought," she sneered. "Dismissed."


End file.
